Surviving
by Aphina
Summary: Speed P.O.V. Calleigh's life hasn't been easy and it's about to get tougher. During the course of one night she gives into her feelings for her friend, and finds herself almost raped by an ex lover. Somehow Calleigh has to find a way to survive.SC
1. Chapter 1: The Truth About Hagen

Chapter One

We were there again, snapping at each other bitterly. It wasn't going to get us anywhere; I could see that, we both knew it was pointless. Eric barged between them both pushing Hagen further away from me. Eric…always breaking up the fights I have. He's been my best friend for years now. He'd be battering the shit out of Hagen if he'd seen what I'd seen.

"Both of you calm down alright?" Eric's voice pierces the rage I feel pouring out of my soul and appeals to the logical side of my brain. I pause, taking a deep breath and several steps back from Hagen still unable to scrape the images he's forced into my head. I know I'm right to be angry, the bastard deserves all the pain OI can give him. Yet Eric still in front of me, holding me back. Just looking at Hagen is bringing that overwhelming memory to the forefront of my skull.

_Hagen on top of Calleigh pulling at her clothes, whilst she struggled against him. Her voice escalating to panic as his face buried itself in her neck. I could her shouting as Hagen held her wrists down against the carpet. The noise was deafening, it rebounded through my brain, begging me to make it stop._

"_Come on Calleigh, you like this." He said slurring. _

Pushing the memory away I suppressed a shudder at the memory, trying not to imagine what would have happened if I hadn't shown up that night. That night I'd caught Pam cheating on me. I shook that thought off for a second, then resumed my train of thought blocking out the sirens behind me, that echoed through the streets. I knew today had been a rough day, and by the looks of things it certainly wasn't going to get any better. I also knew I hadn't even begun to comprehend it right now. I felt myself sigh as I looked over at Horatio meeting his gaze for a second, and watching as he then averted his attention back to the burning building in front of him. He'd had a rough day too. Coming face with his supposedly dead brother at a crime scene had been a massive shock for us both. Raymond Caine was now just something else for us both to worry about. We'd spent hours speculating the possibility of him being alive before now. There have always been little hints, but nothing concrete. I put a hand to my head rubbing my temples. On top of that Stetler was still after Horatio's hide since he defended Yelina against him. He was narrowly avoiding all the political crap Stetler was throwing at him at the moment. Vaguely I wondered how this new revelation about his brother would affect Horatio. My mind then flittered back to Pam. Images were assaulting my sense again. Pam in bed with another man, me walking in, home early, ready to break up with her. Pam lying there naked trying to explain…I took a deep breath, rooting my thoughts in one spot. Pam didn't need to explain. I knew it was over when we'd argued after I'd been shot in the jeweller's. She'd wanted me to quit and I'd walked out on her. Things had never been the same since that night. She didn't understand the job was my life and I couldn't understand why she didn't see that.

Snapping out of my thoughts suddenly I raised my eyes slowly finding Hagen's still firmly fixed on me, his fists clenched in rage. I noticed his face contorted in a grotesque manner, feeling my own emotions rise to meet the challenge. The bastard deserved everything he got. Without thinking I find myself taking a step forward, a low growl beginning in my throat, I was surprised to find Delko standing in front of me, barring my way.

"Eric…move." I heard myself murmur. Delko looked at me blankly. Opening his mouth as if to say something.

"I don't think that's a good idea now. Is it Speed?" I turned around surprised to hear Horatio's voice. I hadn't heard the guy walk up to us. Carefully I averted my gaze to the ground then found myself looking back up squinting at Horatio.

"Why don't you tell me what you and Detective Hagen are so mad about? I think it happens to go deeper than the fact a cop's been killed tonight now doesn't it?" Horatio's hands were on his hips, he was looking at me suspiciously over the top of his sunglasses.

"I'm guessing it has something to do with Calleigh not coming in tonight doesn't it?" Behind him the warehouse where the body had been found was burning steadily despite the fire crew's best efforts to put it out. I looked at it distracted unsure whether to answer. I sighed and looked back at the ground, scuffing it with my shoe. I glanced up catching Eric frowning at my behaviour. Clearly he was agitated. Eventually I felt my eyes meet Horatio's.

"I saw Hagen trying to rape Calleigh, earlier today." I admitted quietly. By doing so hoping that some how time would reverse and erase the event from existence. I watched Eric's jaw drop open at the words.

"No way man." He said, trying to comprehend what I was saying, testing the thought of Calleigh being hurt in his head. He didn't want it to of happened, but it had. If I couldn't erase it neither could he. I felt my steely gaze turn to him, my voice rising slightly.

"He did. He was on top of her when I showed up. He trashed her apartment." I confirmed, the anger was draining away from me as I began to drift back into the memory.

"_John, get the hell off me." Calleigh was screaming at him, she was twisting underneath his body trying to move. Hagen's weight was crushing her._

"_Come on Calleigh, you love this, you like being with me." Hagen's speech was slow._

"He was drunk." I said looked away at the ground over my shoulder. I shouldn't be the one telling them this, I know that, but right now Calleigh's curled up in my apartment, with all the lights on, in bed hopefully sleeping off the nightmare she'd been through. I'd despised the thought of leaving her alone, but tonight it was all hands on deck, to be honest in the back of my mind I was pondering whether she wanted some time to assess what had happened to her. It was part of a natural healing process. Horatio turned his head slightly towards Hagen.

"Looks like he still is." He murmured. He turned his head back to me, analysing me with his eyes. He wasn't sure what to do now. He spent years trying to protect the team from outsiders, and now he had to do it from one of their own.

"I need you to tell me everything that you saw happen." I let out a sigh, and nodded.

"Sure H…" I looked up catching a look at Eric's face.

"He can't do that. He can't get away with this." Eric spoke angrily. I didn't blame him I knew exactly what he was feeling right now. He was somehow barely containing the will power to plunge his fist in to Hagen's face. If he'd known about this before he wouldn't of stopped me hitting Hagen.

"And he won't." Horatio assured him. "Now Speed…" he motioned for me to sit on the seat behind him, beyond the open S.U.V door.

I rubbed my eyes with my hands, trying to release some of the pressure behind them. Tonight was going to be a long night.


	2. Chapter 2: Gun Thoughts

Chapter Two

The gun was pointed at her temple; she could feel the pressure of it intensify as her hand shook. Right now she wanted to die. She'd spent the last few hours curled up on Tim's bed, wrapped up in his covers. The smell of him clung to them, comforting her into short bursts of sleep. Yet she couldn't get the images out of her head.

John grinding against her, ripping her shirt off her body, throwing it on the floor as he ate hungrily at her throat. She could feel him pushing against her as she struggled. John was a big man, and even though she'd promised herself she'd never be victimised again, it had happened, in her own home, by someone she thought she could trust.She was shivering again.

Pulling the gun away from her head she turned her face towards Tim's bed side table. Her vivid blue eyes straying to a single framed picture on his bedside. It was a picture of the team; one of the few times, where a break in all their schedules had clashed. They were all at a restaurant for a meal after their shift ended. Alexx had gotten the waiter to take a picture of them all crowded together. She'd given it to Tim for his last birthday. Calleigh picked it up and peered into the picture. She was looking at herself, her arms wrapped around both Tim and Delko, Horatio stood with his own faint smile looking directly into the camera. Alexx was beside Valera and Tim. They all looked happy. They all had been happy.

Calleigh sighed putting the picture down on the bedside table. Rain began to patter against the window in Tim's apartment. Calleigh looked at the gun in her hand and then at the picture, wondering what on earth she'd been thinking. She was safe here, John didn't know she was here, no one did. Except Tim, she guessed the others knew about the attempted rape, therefore guessing that she was safe somewhere. She wasn't sure why she couldn't face them yet. All she knew was she felt scared, and she couldn't do the job if that's what she felt. The distraction of fear would make her insecure; in short it made her a liability to the team. That wasn't just it. She didn't want to be vulnerable; she didn't want them to see her vulnerable. Sighing she put the gun on the night stand. She'd have to talk to Horatio tomorrow. She was well aware that she'd washed some of the evidence of her assault down the drain, but she had needed to get the dirty feeling of his hands off of her. She couldn't stand it, the thought of him on her, unable to move him. She shivered; looking at the clock, wishing Tim was home. He had a few more hours on his shift yet, she knew they'd be a busy few. He'd left the radio on for her so it didn't seem so quiet here. She relished his thoughtfulness. Crawling into the covers she decided to wait for a while and try to sleep some more, anything to make time go quicker right now. In the background a song played on the radio. She recognized it. It was her favorite at the moment.

_There's a little bit of your song in my ear,_

_There's still a little bit of your words I long to hear._

The song brought back memories of last night, of the time her and Tim had spent together. The way he held her as if she was the most fragile thing in the world. The way he kissed her softly, the way he laughed. She was wrapped up in him, and his arms as the song continued to play she found herself falling asleep and reliving that memory.


	3. Chapter 3: Lab Talk

Chapter Three

_There's still a little bit of your ghost, your weakness_

_There's still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed. _

Hearing that song in my head was making me think of Calleigh and my last few precious, pain free moments with her. I'd been watching her dance last night at her place, in tune to the music she had playing on the stereo. She was so happy, so carefree. The air around her seemed fun and peaceful. I'd turned up to hand her groceries she'd left in my car, after I dropped her off. I'd watched her laugh as she took my hand and guided my inept form into a dance in the kitchen. I can't dance too well, she knew it. Funnily enough she didn't care. The music had slowed and another song began to play on her stereo, changing the mood of them both. They moved gently, swaying softly in time with each other.

_There's still a little bit of your taste in my mouth,_

_There's still a little bit of you laced with my doubt._

_God I'm missing you so much right now._

I wasn't sure how it had happened but I know it did. She'd looked up at the same time as I'd looked down, our eyes had met, the ocean of hers rushed up to meet me, drowning me in the emotion I was feeling for her. The next moment I was filled with the sensation of warmth as if I'd come out of a long dream I hadn't known I was in. She melted into sudden kiss as naturally as did, as if it had always been this way between us. I found my hands caressing the smooth skin of her face, then wrapping in her soft platinum hair. I adored the expression of love on her face as I literally swept her off her feet and carried her into her bedroom. A mix of surprise and joy lit up her face as she let out that brilliant, vivid laugh. I remembered my hands running through her hair slowly as I kissed her slowly, my attention was solely in her. I remembered her clutching me in ecstasy as we moved together making love until the sun came up. That song had been playing in the back ground as we had drifted to sleep, my arms wrapped round her smooth figure, holding her tightly, my face buried in her long blond hair. I never wanted to let her go. That song, it was the last thing I'd heard whilst in her company. A few more lines were coming back to me now, I remembered it to be Calleigh's favourite.

_You step a little closer each day and I can't see what's going on._

The lab was ghostly without her. She was like an infectious happy disease. With her gone the whole lab was quiet; no one was speaking to each other. They were knee deep analysing all the evidence from the crime scene that had once been the remains of the warehouse. The bastards had known what they were doing in this case. I had to hand them that. Whoever had killed that cop, knew how to ruin a good crime scene. At the same time I was sickened at their professionalism, there was the possibility they were going to get away. Right now I was aware of the fact I'd been staring at the computer trying to track a finger print we'd found through AFIS with no such luck; I'd been at it for over an hour now, the slowness of the day was driving me insane. Burning the building had been a smart idea on their part, whoever they were. It caused a sufficient lack of evidence, and made my job harder to find any that remained. We'd spent hours crawling over the crime scene picking up little things here and there, but nothing I could really deem as useful at this stage. I was just sitting here doing the paper work I was supposed to be catching up with; it was beginning to drive me insane. I wanted to be at home with Calleigh. I'd debated phoning her at my place, but I didn't want to wake her if she was asleep. It was precious sleep she needed in order to help her recuperate. I knew Calleigh well enough to know that. Bored I caught myself looking at my watch. Only a few more hours to go. AT the back of my mind I was kind of alarmed Horatio hadn't been to see me yet, but I knew all in good time. I put his head in my hands and rubbed my eyes for a second, pushing away the images that were thrusting themselves into my mind. She's a strong girl; remember she can take care of herself, I was telling myself.

This was driving me slowly insane. Everything that had happened in the last day was giving me no time to pull it all together in my own head. I was attempting to block it all out but it wasn't happening. I also knew from my previous experiences that I shouldn't. Calleigh was the reason I'd been late last night, Pam hadn't been expecting me home, by chance I'd taken down the wrong shift details and told her I was on the night shift. There wasn't enough time to inform her I was actually on day shift, in the end she wouldn't have really minded anyway. After the events with Calleigh, I'd decided it was time to admit to myself I should be moving on and not clinging to this thing I had with Pam. I'd wanted to end mine and Pam's relationship for a while now; I just hadn't been admitting it to myself. Only things had gone differently to the way I'd imagined they would. Instead of me breaking up with her I'd came home and found Pam cheating on me, which was somewhat a surprise, especially as it turned out had been going on for months. Feeling the desperate need to talk I'd gone to the only place he knew anyone was. Eric was out clubbing tonight with his new girlfriend, and I didn't really want to talk to Horatio about my personal life right now, I turned up at Calleigh's. Upon reaching Calleigh's apartment I'd found her front door closed over but unlocked. This had infiltrated my brain as suspicious. I hadn't even realized I'd taken the gun from my holster until I found it grasped tightly in my hand. Ever since the incident in the jeweller's I'd made sure I'd kept that gun damn clean, religiously clean, up to the point where it began to become almost obsessive. Opening the apartment door quietly I swore I'd heard a man's voice, it was low and deep. Hearing the tone I recognized to be a lover's. Taking a deep breath I'd started to back out of the room, pain was racking my insides. It couldn't of been a mistake. Tears were pinpricking my eyes, holding them back I felt used and dirty. That was before I had her scream.

Never once before had I ever heard Calleigh scream, the noise was a horrific yet it wasn't loud, yet the quiet shriek sent goose bumps of fear prickling through me and rattled my insides to the core. Without thinking I discovered that I'd rushed into the living room, gun pointing at the man on top of Calleigh, tearing at her clothes. I watched stunned as he began tearing at his own shirt, his pants were already down by his knees, his lower body pinning hers to against the carpet. For a second I couldn't move. I couldn't breath. I just stared at the sight unable to comprehend it. He hadn't managed to get Calleigh's pants entirely off yet, they were pulled down to her thighs as she struggled to make the grip he had on her wrists looser, so she could ward him off. I felt the essence of pure fear and rage ebbing into my veins filling them. I didn't even think. I was running on auto. From the looks of things the perpetrator hadn't even heard me enter, let alone realize I was standing there. He was too hell bent on yanking Calleigh's jeans down past her thighs he barely even realized what was happening as my hands wrapped around his shirt in fury as I tore him off the innocent young woman he was molesting. I didn't even see his face. All I could see was Calleigh's tearstained, make up streaked face.

As he fell on his back amidst the pure white of Calleigh's carpet, I came to realize the bastard was reaching for his own gun from his own holster, next to his own badge. My own was already pointed at his forehead. Grinding my teeth I saw myself pulling the trigger on this bastard once and for all. Surprise took me as I looked past the gun and at the man behind it. Two words formed in my throat, forming his name as my hand clenched the gun almost bitterly. The drunken figure as Detective John Hagen and it had been him that had been trying to rape my beautiful blond angel. The look of pure shock on Hagen's face I guess matched my own down to the last detail. Hagen, looked past me taking a good hard glare at the shivering Calleigh on the floor as he rose to his feet, swaying, tugging at his pants. I pulled away from him standing next to Calleigh, looking down the barrel at him. I wouldn't of hesitated shooting that bastard right between the eyes. In my head the flash back played vividly.

"_Are you okay Cal?" I asked. I was analysing the situation as I was at work, it was the only way I could deal with it right now.. Out the corner of my eye I saw Calleigh slowly nod._

"_You whore." Hagen spoke venomously. As if she'd hurt him, as if she was to blame for all this. Calleigh stared at him, her blue eyes etching with a fury I hadn't seen in along time._

"_I'm not yours anymore John, I haven't been for a long time." Her words were cold. Since Calleigh's and Hagen's split he'd become unpredictable painfully obvious from the display that had unfolded in front of me. Hagen growled stepping back towards the front door._

"_This isn't over." He said looking directly at the raging Calleigh._

"_Get out." I heard myself say, the words themselves sounded hollow as I spoke, right now I knew I wouldn't hesitate in a second to pull the trigger on Hagen. He'd become a mad man, and a drunk, almost a rapist. Yet again he'd almost broken someone else's' life. Slowly Hagen exited the room I could hear him thumping walls as he bounced down the corridor. For a moment I followed suit, I wanted to follow him, I wanted to batter the living shit out of him until every inch of the pain I was seeing on Calleigh's face and been avenged. Only the sound of Calleigh's quiet, heart wrenching sobs stopped me from doing it. Instead I moved to close the front door until I realized it was hanging off it's hinges. I found myself turning to Calleigh. She was on her feet wrapping the blanket from the couch around herself. She wasn't fast enough to hide the damage Hagen had done. Her blouse was torn off and lay on the floor behind her. Her bra hung on her broken and open revealing her breasts. Instantly I turned around as she did, knowing that privacy was what she wanted right now. The sobs had stopped, I knew right then she was trying to pull herself together. I also knew she was trying to pull her jeans up to hide the newly formed bruising that were beginning to appear on her thighs. There was bruising on her arms, and wrists where Hagen had held her down. Part of her face was swollen where I could only guess he had struck her. The impending rage was running through me, yet so was the impending sadness. Choking back tears I turned back to face her, she met my gaze head on. There was silence between us, we said nothing, there was nothing to say yet there was understanding in her eyes. I'd already made the decision of what was going to happen next for her. For a few moments I didn't move I didn't go over to her; she didn't want anyone to touch her yet. She felt bruised and dirty. I knew she was brave, I knew she felt shame, but she'd never admit it. She had no reason to be ashamed. I holstered my gun and moved towards her slowly so not to startle her, she watched me carefully. I wanted to hold her so much, tell her how much I loved her and that I'd stay to make sure she never had to worry about being safe ever again. That wasn't what she wanted or needed, she'd take that as pity. Right now she just needed someone to stay here in the apartment with he, she needed to be safe in case he came back. She was creeping towards the bathroom, to the shower I knew to wash the essence of Hagen off of her. She didn't have to say anything when I saw the questioning in her eyes. I couldn't have left even if she'd wanted me to._

"_Calleigh… I'll stay." I blurted out as she turned away. _

"_Really?" she asked. "I don't want to be alone right now."_

_I nodded my understanding; Calleigh gave me a grim smile and retreated towards the bathroom, still shaking. I wanted to hold her, protect her, make sure she was safe, but I couldn't do that right now, that's not what she wanted._

"_Calleigh wait…" she turned to me again as I moved wearily towards her. She didn't shying away from my gaze; she faced me head on as if I was challenging her. I held out my hand, she looked down at the gun I'd placed in it and let out a grateful sigh. She took it from my hand and into the bathroom with her. I was giving her the means to protect herself, that's what she wanted; she needed to stay in control, it was her way of coping._

"_Tim, thank you." She said as she closed the bathroom door. I knew as she said them she meant for everything. A few minutes later I relaxed hearing the sound of running water, uneasy I moved from the bathroom door. I knew the sound of water was covering the sobs of someone who had been nearly broken. I knew there wasn't a thing I could have done about it. Something occurred to me then, as I sitting in the dimly lit living room, on her once comfortable couch, she was washing away the evidence to what Hagen had done to her and I was letting her. I heard myself sigh, running a hand through my hair. I knew I didn't have the heart to make her stop washing away all the emotions she was feeling or the dirt she felt was clinging to her skin. There was other tell tale evidence left behind. I could collect._

Music on my head phones snapped me back to reality as I began to tune back into the world. The latest of my reports I realized in dismay were a total mess. I had no idea what the hell I'd been doing for the past few hours, but I was aware from the things I'd written I hadn't been concentrating, half of them were even unfinished. I had yet to go through my own notes correcting the mistakes and theories I'd been making at the time of things, yet I wasn't entirely sure of their location. Growling I shifted the reports aside for a second and placed my chin on my hand frustrated and becoming consumed by thought. What the hell could make someone want to hurt someone else in the way Hagen had hurt Calleigh? I couldn't get it out of my head. I wanted to damage Hagen so badly…

A shadow fell over the reports I'd been previously reading, I glanced looked up briefly from my thoughts to see the slim shape of Horatio standing over me, as usual his hands on his hips. Being polite I took the head phones off of my head, leaving them dangling around my neck.

"Anything yet Speed?" he asked I shook my head in reply.

"I was about to ask you the same thing." I told him frowning. "I've been going over these case files while waiting for AFIS to find anything; it may even be another few hours."

"We know that the accelerant from the fire is petrol. Delko is still interviewing the neighbours with Yelina. It's proving difficult though." Horatio confirmed, I nodded in return, storing the information in my brain.

"I'll find my notes and read them after I've finished these reports. See what AFIS comes up with in the mean time." I looked down at the page in front of me, pretending to read it.

"Speed…" Horatio began. I found my eyes on him, surprised that he was still here.

"I'm going to need the other evidence from last night." For a moment I was staring at Horatio frozen. It took me a few minutes to register.

"H…" I began.

"We need to start analysis it straight away Speed." Horatio spoke softly. I nodded swallowing hard and took the envelope marked evidence from my rucksack.

"There's everything, it contains her clothing from that night, torn shirt, broken bra clasp, ripped panties. There are photographs of the bruising and the scratches on her from where he held her down, and where he hit her face." I was struggling to speak in a controlled and unfeeling manner. Yet I heard my own anger as I betrayed my own emotions. My jaw clenched as Horatio took the envelope from my hand. I raised my eyes and met a stone wall in Horatio's; I looked away tired and feeling degenerate. Before I realized it I was speaking again.

"I don't see why it had to happen to her H… I mean I was there he had lost it completely. What can turn a man like Hagen into such an animal? What made him victimise her? She's this beautiful, strong woman; she didn't deserve it." Horatio placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I let out a long sigh. I knew I was close to breaking point, so did he. Horatio took a seat across from me making sure to face me.

"Men like Hagen Tim… When Hagen lost Ray as a partner, he was seen as a bad luck charm, no one wanted to be near him or work with him. After all the rumours of Raymond being corrupt, it made sense to think that maybe the corruption had spread to his partner. Hagen was isolated; he was made to be a bad guy. In all honestly I don't know if he ever was corrupt or not. For a long time it seemed that Hagen had no control over what was happening. He had no control in his life. When he and Calleigh started dating she gave something, she showed him that there was something for him out there, and that he didn't have to be isolated. Overall he became almost dependant on her, eventually they split, I'm sure you know why." I nodded automatically, urging him on. When he didn't I continued to voice my thoughts.

"That still doesn't tell me why he felt the need to try to rape her." I heard myself remarked dryly. Horatio paused before continuing.

"Speed…Hagen felt needed, and when Calleigh told him she didn't need him anymore he was back to being isolated again. When it comes to it she dominated the relationship. Hagen would never have left Calleigh, but Hagen was always going to lose Calleigh." Horatio said pointedly. I ignored his gaze and focused on the story.

"Hagen started drinking, as you saw yourself he lost control of himself, I've spoken to his superior, he's been coming in late or not at all. He's been caught fighting with suspects. In short of out he's lost his control. I think he saw Calleigh as the reason for that, and in order to gain control he has to dominate her. It puts him back in the driving seat." Horatio finished. I was staring at him in horror I knew I was; all this was to put him back in control? I was speechless; I didn't know what to say. Horatio's gaze was on me for a second before standing up. He began to speak again.

"Speed can I ask? Where is Calleigh right now?" he inquired quietly. I looked up at him still in shock, my mouth hanging open.

"Um…" I shook my head to clear it, distracted. " She's at my place. I left her there to get some rest, she didn't feel safe at her apartment… Hagen broke the door off the hinges."

Horatio sighed and nodded.

"Have you moved anything except her clothing?" Horatio asked thoughtfully.

"Just some stuff to take to mine." I ran his hand through my hair before talking again.

"Look H… this is a big deal, and she needs to know Hagen will be off the streets, hell; I need to know Hagen will be off the streets. I mean if you'd seen what I saw… I mean I've never seen anyone so vulnerable before. I've never seen her look fragile. I saw Hagen defile her, he was an animal." I hesitated shaking my head slowly. Horatio's eyes were on my face as I relived the memory. I found myself looking off into the distance across the lab.

"I keep wondering what would of happened if I hadn't gone back to talk to her. I almost didn't go to her place. I caught Pam cheating on me today; I actually walked in and saw her with another man. It didn't bother me, when it came to the crunch, because I knew we'd been over since the second time I was shot. We couldn't give each other what we wanted. I nearly didn't go to Calleigh's with the whole thing." I was staring down at my hands.

"I'm glad you did though Speed. I bet she is too. How's she holding up?" Horatio asked folding his arms over his slender chest. I shifted on my uncomfortable stool a little.

"Good." I said nodding for empathise. "I think she's just trying to deal with it in her own way." Horatio nodded thoughtfully.

"I'm gonna get going, analyse the evidence you gave me and take a look around Calleigh's apartment." Horatio told me, moving in the direction of the door.

"It's open all hours now anyway." I muttered bitterly. As Horatio left, the attack on Calleigh still firmly placed in my mind, I knew she was reliving too, in her own mind.


	4. Chapter 4: Welcome Home

Chapter Four

It was late by the time I got home. Darkness hadn't set into the Miami skyline yet, even though the clock was striking evening. Carrying the food I managed to pick up from Calleigh's favourite Chinese restaurant on the way, I struggled bitterly for a few minutes trying to juggle between the key, the takeout and the door. Eventually managing to push open the front door to my apartment, I leaned against it, peering in, searching for some sign of Calleigh. Not seeing her in the kitchen that lay directly across from the door, I proceeded to slip through the now closing door and let it shut quietly behind me in case she was sleeping.

"Welcome home sugar." I turned around facing the small living room that was through the kitchen. Upon the old leather couch sat the homely figure of Alexx, and next to her a slightly smiling Calleigh, both of them leaned comfortably against the deep red cushions, nestling cups of what I guessed was tea between their hands. I found myself smiling at the sight.

"Alexx didn't know you were coming. I would have brought more food. I'm sorry." I held up the white take out apologetically. Alexx stood up reaching for her handbag.

"Don't you worry sugar, I was just leaving, and I came here to see how our Calleigh was doing." Alexx looked directly at Calleigh, who smiled wearily at me. I guessed maybe she'd had a phone call or two also from concerned lab friends.

"And you can see I'm going fine, now away with you Alexx." Calleigh laughed bringing a wide grin to my face. Her happiness was infectious. She looked a lot better than she had this morning, in fact Calleigh looked refreshed. Yet there were still evident signs of strain on her face. It was still proved to me that she was at least coping with what had happened. I backed into the kitchen, slipped the bag onto the table as Alexx came through to me, putting her cup into the sink next to me. She leaned into me as I started removing the take away packages from their plastic prison.

"She's looking a lot better than she did yesterday." I murmured to Alex as she swilled water around the inside of her cup. No matter what I said to her about cleaning up here, she ignored it and washed her own dishes.

"I hope you take care of her sugar." Alexx murmured, out of view of Calleigh. I looked up at her and then averted my gaze down at the carrier bag of take away food.

"I will Alexx; I'll do the best to let her know she's not alone." I spoke quietly concentrating on the food in front of me. This was awkward, Alexx didn't know what had occurred between me and Calleigh, yet she was aware that we were very good friends.

"Honey, you're not alone either. Remember that." Alexx pointed out. She was asking if I wanted to talk, just without asking the question. I turned to face her, sighing. Talking was supposed to help in situations like this, and Alexx was a far better mother than my own.

"You know Alexx, when I saw Hagen on top of her like that I didn't think." I crossed his arms over my chest defensively and leaned against the work surface. Alexx took a step back, doing the same, she was also curious.

"I just shut off. I treated it as if I was on the job." I ran a hand through my unruly curls. I glanced towards Calleigh who sat on the couch in the living room, looking distantly out of the window that overlooked part of the beach and the sea.

"It bothers me that I did that. I mean I felt rage, pure blind rage that he could do that, but more than that I was scared. I was scared that he'd hurt her badly and what he could still do to her. I needed to know she was alright. The thing was Alexx I knew the second that gun was in my hand that if he even moved in her direction I would have shot him. I couldn't stand to see her hurt. I can't stand to think of what will happen if Hagen gets away with this." Alexx's eyes were fixated on my face. I was aware I was speaking with such remorse and bitterness. Behind Alexx's eyes I saw realization and trust. Calleigh was in the best place she could be right now and she knew it. I was right here to look after Calleigh and protect her, to even give her the support and space she needed. I was going to make sure I was here for her.

"Don't you worry Timmy. Hagen won't get away with it; I bet Horatio's processing the evidence right now." Alexx reassured him. I nodded thoughtfully, thinking the evidence and the case through.

"Thanks Alexx. I mean it thank you." I spoke with gratitude and honesty whilst opening the food trays.

"No problem sugar. I'll see you tomorrow." Alexx moved towards the front door.

"Bye Calleigh"

"See ya tomorrow Alexx." Alexx opened the door and turned back to face me.

"You know I swear that girl's a workaholic." I smiled in return as Alexx closed the door behind her. As I proceeded to put the Chinese food on the plates in front of me, I heard Calleigh's small footfalls.

"What did you bring me?" Calleigh asked leaning around me to get a look at the food. Her closeness sent warm tingles up my spine. Taking up a position next to me she leaned on the counter analysing the contents of the food trays. I found myself looking up at her with a contented smile.

"You're favourite." I replied. Calleigh picked up a spring roll and popped it into her mouth, as I carefully guided our plates to the table, also supplying us both with forks. Calleigh slid down into her seat, shovelling food into her mouth quickly. I also followed suit. I hadn't really eaten much in work, there'd been too much to do.

"How was it today?" she asked between mouthfuls.

"Dull, you know I swear that lab's a hell of a lot quieter when your not there." I answered watching her eat.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" she asked curiously. I put on my debating look for a few seconds.

"That's a bad thing." I told her openly. There were a few more minutes of comfortable silence before Calleigh spoke. She put down her fork with a small clatter and looked across at me. I diverted my gaze quickly.

"Tim, we need to talk." Those words ran through me making me feel cold run through me. I knew this was coming. I'd been expecting her to tell him that the night we spent together was a mistake. It was just one of those rules. Colleagues don't sleep with each other. They cause problems in work. Yet for me it wasn't a mistake. For along time I'd felt something for Calleigh, something deeper than friendship. Yet it lay dormant, leading me to do nothing about it, until the other night. Taking a deep breath I put more food in my mouth. I wasn't going to help her say this. I found myself enjoying this less, my food now tasteless. Calleigh stared at me, shifting food around her plate, watching for an answer. I pushed my plate away, clenching my jaw. I had an idea.

"Do you want to go for a ride?" I asked suddenly standing up. Calleigh looked up at me surprised also rising to her feet.

I reached out, grabbed hold of her hand and tugged her towards the door smiling.

"Come on, I want to take you somewhere." Calleigh stared at me unsure I could see what was ticking through her mind. I ignored her stare and handed Calleigh a helmet from the closet. Glancing towards the window and back at Calleigh again I felt my face move into an almost exasperated grin.

"I promise when we get there we can talk about whatever you want. I'll even be honest." Calleigh smirked at my comment, and took the helmet from me collecting her shoes, I knew she was wondering what I had in mind.


	5. Chapter 5:Talking Love

Chapter Five

Calleigh looked up at the sky as the sun began to set across the beach. Warmth ran through me as she watched the sea run up the shore. The sky was a tint of orange, reds, black streaked across the sky cutting through the softness of the clouds. We were both leaning against my bike staring at the sky. The ride here had been gentle but fast at the same time, it felt amazing having Calleigh's arms around me as I lost myself in the feeling of the ride.

"It's beautiful." I heard her murmur. I could feel her warm presence beside me. We were separate, but on some level we were together also

"I come here to think sometimes. You know when things get too much." I confessed looking down at the sand. Calleigh turned her head towards me slightly. She stood there silent and solitary; my arms were crossed over my chest, she looked out to sea distantly. Here I was strong, happy and dominant. Calleigh let out a sigh. I knew she should feel carefree, like this was a break from everything, but there was something over hanging her. I was guessing it was the something that we still had to talk about.

"Tim…" Calleigh began looking at her hands, then out to sea. Watching her I pulled my arms around myself tighter and then looked out to sea. Suddenly I was beginning to feel colder.

"I said you could talk to me about anything, when we got here." I reminded her gently. I had to know what was going on, the same with her. The wind was blowing Calleigh's long blond hair around her face. She was still gazing at the sea.

"And you won't drive off without me?" she asked half teasing. I turned to her surprised at her tone. She was half serious too.

"Of course not." I started to analyse the features of her face. I could see the damage that was there, not just from Hagen but the damage she'd received during her whole life. I was beginning to feel the need to speak out.

"I'm not planning to just pick up and leave you, not now, not ever." Calleigh's eyes focused down at the concrete of the pier. She was smiling. I found himself gazing towards the ocean again.

"Thank you." Calleigh spoke quietly. "Tim, do you think what we did was a mistake?"

I stared straight ahead; I could feel her eyes on me. I knew this was coming up. Right now I wished I'd asked that question first. Here I was opening myself up to hurt by telling the truth. But I had promised I'd tell the truth. Anyway to Calleigh I couldn't lie. Hell I wouldn't lie.

"No, Cal, I don't." Calleigh let out a deep sigh. I didn't move, just stared out to sea.

"Good me neither." I bent my head hiding a small smile as Calleigh crossed her arms across her chest.

"For a long time Tim, I've ignored the feelings I've had for you. We have a work relationship, I didn't want to wreck our friendship, I was happy with it. I didn't want to ruin it. The other night, I just lost it; nothing else existed but you in the room with me. When we were dancing, it was right. Everything that happened felt right. I don't think I've ever felt like that in my whole life. I haven't had a very secure life, but with you I find myself feeling, safe and like every feeling I have I don't have to hide or worry about because your there. I know your not just gonna pick up and leave me. Yet there is still the possibility that you will. I was ready to give myself to you, to commit to you. I was going to tell you this when you broke up with Pam, but then Hagen…" Calleigh trailed off, almost choking, pushing back tears. She put her hand against her mouth. I felt my heart wrench at that sight. I hadn't really seen her cry properly. She always hid it.

"After what happened I don't know whether I can commit anymore." I turned to her; feeling my heart choke, tears were trailing freely down her cheeks. Hurt was seizing me, hitting me in all the sensitive areas of my soul I'd bared to her. My heart was clenching in pain. But I knew it was nothing compared to the pain that she was feeling right now. She'd finally found something she wanted and that she needed and now she felt she was losing it. Calleigh turned away, her back to me, for a second I felt hopeless. I watched her back, she was shaking violently, I heard quiet low noises coming form her mouth. And knew she was crying. Without thinking about it, I stepped towards her, wrapping my arms around her waist and shoulders. I buried my head in her hair. I felt her buckle underneath my presence. Then she broke.

"It's not your fault you know." I told her as loud sobs erupted from her. "None of this is." I was whispering to her softly, tears were running freely down her face now, with no sign of stopping. I didn't care, I was close to her, making her feel better. That was all that mattered.

"But it is, it's not fair." She cried out, almost screaming out loud.

"No Cal, it's not. It's not fair at all. But trust me you'll get through this. I promise." I whispered into her ear holding on tightly. Calleigh turned in my arms, burying her face into my chest. My hand was on the back of her head, caressing her hair. Holding her like this felt natural to me. I felt lost. At the same time I felt like I had no idea what was going to happen from here. All I knew was right now we were both hurting.


	6. Chapter 6: Words

Chapter Six

The ride to the apartment was a silent and tense one. There was always going to be something between us both. Unfortunately the previous events with Hagen had damaged the fragile possibility of anything happening between us. Hagen had broken Calleigh, in more ways then one. I was for her when Hagen had started beating on her. I was the first person she told. It had taken a while to get her to talk to H about it. Eventually she'd found the strength to ditch Hagen, she never filed a report against him, I didn't understand how she could bare to work in the same atmosphere as the guy. Hagen had stayed way from Calleigh for a very long time. Now on the brink of what seemed t be a break down, he was coming at her full tilt. Things were going to get rough from now on. Horatio had been making noises about getting statements from the both of us before I left the building. Calleigh was coming in tomorrow as normal. I think she already knew that this had gone far enough with Hagen, this time she was placing charges against him. Calleigh wasn't weak, she'd do anything she could to prove she was ok. If I was a different type of guy I would of kicked up a fuss, but to be honest I seriously understood what had been happening. Calleigh couldn't take anymore damage emotionally. She'd run a risk assessment in her brain and I was too much of one for her to take a chance.

I realized we hadn't spoken for awhile once I opened the apartment door. I didn't know what else to say to her. I put my helmet on the kitchen table and found myself turning to the balcony on which the windows opened out onto. It was too dark to see anything behind the window itself, yet I saw the red light of the answering machine flashing in its reflection. I guessed Calleigh had gone into the bedroom; I moved into the living room and looked at the answering machine curiously. Two new messages. I looked at the clock, we had only been gone a couple of hours. In my head I was going over the vow I made to myself. Even if I couldn't be with Calleigh in a relationship I would protect her no matter what. As a friend and a colleague, she was too valuable to the team and to me to just let go. I pressed the button on the answering machine listening to its automated voice tone impatiently.

"Yea… I know I have two messages…Hurry it up already." I scowled at it crossing my arms over my chest. The first message was from Delko reminding of my promise to analyze all his D.N.A, he must of found out I'd left the lab early, it then turned out this was a sideline, he was actually calling to see how Calleigh was doing.

When the second message invaded my ears I found myself staring at it in disbelief.

_Go away, go away, go away. _The thought was echoing loudly in my mind. I couldn't push that voice out and away from me.

"Hey Tim it's me Madeline remember me?" I closed my eyes for a second trying to ward away the image in my head. Who could forget such a beautiful viper? I leaned back on the couch for a second. Madeline Soloman was a lawyer I'd had a short love affair with. Amazing sex, beautiful body, unfortunately looks could be deceiving she was a conniving, twisted woman. She'd used me to gather some important case details that managed to get her client off the hook. She tried to play me and Delko off at the same time too, also making a ploy for Horatio in the process. As I said the woman was evil, unfortunately by the sound of it she was going to try and edge her way back into my life.

_As if._ I wasn't that dumb anymore. Still listening out for the message I switched the radio in the kitchen on, so it's sound drifted into the living room.

"I was wondering of you want to hook up sometime, I'm only here for one night. I've booked us the President's Suite at Holiday Inn here. I'll be waiting for you here. Ciao."

"Yea and I'm stupid enough to fall for that trick again." I growled at the message as I deleted it. The farther away that witch was from me the better. I heard something thud behind me and turned around to see Calleigh behind me. Her bags packed and her resting the key to my apartment on the coffee table.

"Calleigh?" I frowned at her unable to comprehend what she was doing. She held up a hand silencing me. I took to break eagerly, wanting her to explain.

"Tim, I'm going back to my apartment, I've made things awkward here, and I'm sorry." She told me. I watched her shocked but my brain tuned into its logical side.

"But Calleigh… you can't." she looked at me, hands in her hips. I continued.

"Your apartment's a crime scene. You're not allowed on it, that and the door currently has no hinges." I reminded her with a weak smile. She sighed. I reached out for her, to touch her arm. She recoiled from me quickly, her eyes wide. Mentally I was hitting myself. I took a deep breathe and pulled my hand back slowly. Calleigh reached out quickly and grabbed my hand, entwining her fingers in mine.

"You're not him…" she murmured moving closer to me slowly until we were inches apart.

"No I'm not. I could never be like him." I told her brushing a stray strand of her blond hair from near her beautiful eyes. Her lips were close to mine now, I wanted nothing more than to reach out and kiss her.

"Haven't you got another invitation for tonight?" she asked me, nodding at the answering machine. I could feel her warm breath on my lips as she spoke. I couldn't tear myself away from the deep oceans of her eyes that were pulling me in. She had me here, and there was no way to get away from her.

"I'm not really up for a tussle with a snake." I told her rolling my eyes. Calleigh's brows furrowed.

"That's Madeline?" Calleigh asked raising an eyebrow.

"The one and only."

"Sure you don't want to go? I hear she's beautiful." Calleigh said quietly. My eyes were still on hers, she was giving me a choice, her or Madeline. I'd already made my choice.

"If you like preying mantis." I spoke dryly. Calleigh stifled a laugh. I could feel her body so close to me. Tantalising and carefree, she was so innocent and so tempting at the same time. A song was drifting out over the radio now. I didn't know whether to tell her or not. The words I wanted to say would change everything. I wouldn't be able to take them back.

"Calleigh… Miss Duquesne, would you like to dance?" I asked. I really wanted to be close ot her right now. Just to know that she was here and that she was alright. Calleigh smiled at me in her warm and usual way.

"Why Mr Speedle I'd love to." She drawled. She reached out wrapping her arms around me softly. We swayed gently for a few moments; I closed my eyes, resting my cheek on her smooth hair. My ears began to pick up lyrics from the song that was playing.

_I don't wanna let you go,_

_So I'm standing in your way,  
I never needed anyone like I'm needin' you today._

_Do I have to say the words?_

_Do I have to tell the truth?_

I took a deep breath. The damn song was getting to me. It taunted me unfairly, riddling my mind with the impulse to tell her how I felt. It was true every single word from it. I wasn't really thinking when I said it. I was still thinking of that damned song, and how much damage love songs in the word create.

"I'm in love with you Calleigh." The words erupted out of my mouth. I clenched my jaw shut.

_Stupid, stupid Tim._ One of my rules was to never get involved so deeply it could hurt; unfortunately I just crossed my own boundary and destroyed it in one step. I didn't stop to think how she'd react to this. In my mind I was giving her more reason to flea as opposed to stay. The thing was after what had happened last night I needed her. I had always needed her to do so many things. I'd come to this mystical realization that my life was nothing if she wasn't in it and it was true. It took me a moment to realize we'd stopped swaying and that her whole attention was focused upon me.

"Tim…" she looked speechless. I knew that feeling well, after all those months of thinking it, the effect of the words had rendered me without speech also.

"You don't have to say anything." I told her taking a step back, trying to out some distance between us both. She probably needed space, and I needed my fucking head screwing on. I was trying to mentally erase everything I had just said, but that dumb song had gotten to me and the words were just replaying in my mind. Calleigh took a step towards me. I took another step back raising my hands to ward her off. She was frowning now. I really couldn't take this level of rejection right now. I was trying to delay it as much as possible. She stepped forward, grabbing my hands and holding them securely in her own. Her eyes met mine, and I found myself unable to move or tear myself away.

"Tim, I love you." For a few seconds I was frozen, struggling to understand what she was saying. Calleigh took the initiative and guided me to the couch, forcing me to sit down. She flopped down next to me looking concerned.

"I've felt this way about you for years now." She uttered. I felt my jaw drop open again. I didn't have a clue what I was doing this was heavily uncharted territory for me. My brain wouldn't function, before I knew it my arms were around her, holding her, my lips brushed her forehead, at the same time my nose taking in the smell of her hair. I loved it. I was lost in her. Her hands reached up stroking the stubble on my jaw, at the same time she pulled her head back from my face. I shivered as her nose traced down my throat and gently across my collarbone. Her lips parted in that spot, her tongue darted out tracing the line of it gently. I moved my hands up the inside of her arms gently, tracing circles slowly as I did so. Calleigh stopped for a second, she reached for my hands and placed them on her waist, slowly she proceeded to undo each button on my shirt, kissing the spot where each one had been. Right now Calleigh needed to be in control. She'd lost so much and now she was trying to regain it. She was testing out the boundaries of our relationship, to be honest I didn't mind, I understood what it was like to lose control the way she had. I'm just glad she was trying to regain it all with me, the person whom she loved.


	7. Chapter 7: A Visit From Hagen

Chapter Seven

The morning after the night before, I've had a few of them, some hellishly regretful. However this morning was a blessing. After we made love last night I fell asleep with Calleigh in my arms. I never wanted her to leave my side. It felt like I'd been touched by an angel. Calleigh had turned around to face me, her eyes watching my face serenely. The sheet covered up to her chest, she rested her head on her hands. I kissed her forehead gently as she nestled into my chest. The memory caused me to smile. There had been no awkwardness, just bliss. I felt exhilarated and proud. I'd won Calleigh's heart, just as I'd won her respect years ago. Right now I was feeling damn good about myself. Seeing Calleigh back to her confident self was amazing. She was full of smiles for everyone. I think the entire lab was alarmed by her current mood considering the events she'd been though. We decided this morning to keep our relationship a secret until we were sure that was the direction we wanted to go. Fortunately we were both professionals, we could function in a work environment without each other. I was running through the trace samples Delko had found on the gun at the crime scene. Some red thread, trapped on the safety catch. Peering into the microscope I tried to match the thread to the suspects clothing. I'd given my statement over Hagen's attempted raping this morning. Calleigh was in there now with Horatio giving a statement. She was strong she'd get through this. We were all there for her. I looked up seeing Alexx entering the Trace Lab.

"Hey sugar, got some more trace just for you Timmy." She said handing me a brown evidence envelope. I glanced up at her.

"Thanks Alexx." She stood in front of me her arms still crossed.

"Calleigh still in there honey?" she asked, my eyes met hers and I nodded putting the envelope to the left of me.

"You've cheered her up, and I see your smiling an awful lot today Timmy. Anything you want to tell me?" Alex asked raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing to tell Alexx." I told her as Delko burst into the lab.

"You got my results yet?" he asked grinning from ear to ear. I looked up handing him the sheet with my comparisons on. His smile widened.

"And we have a match. Thanks Speed man." Eric said. I loved seeing Eric happy; he was having a rough time lately. Seeing him smile was a blessing. Lately it seemed everyone had found a reason to smile.

"Let me get you a soda Speed, it's on me." Eric said slapping me on the back.

"What's got you in such a good mood?" Alexx looked pointedly at both Eric and me. I shrugged in return.

"Speed's got me a suspect and he's going down." Eric told her reaching the doorframe and leaning in the open doorway.

"This the murdered cop case from last night?" Alexx asked curious.

"One and the same." Eric said. "And now we've caught his killer."

I stood up and took off my lab coat, hanging it up. Eric backed out the door way into the corridor, with me and Alexx following.

"You boys sure work fast." Alexx said hands on her hips.

"We're lean mean crime fighting machines." Eric shouting victorious, rounding a corner, he walked straight into someone; there was a flurry of arms as Eric pulled away bewildered.

"Delko where is Calleigh?" A deep booming voice commanded. My eyes jerked to the person, our eyes met at the same time.

"Speedle, you bastard, you turned her against me." Hagen howled loudly. Heat began to run through me as I marched up to the son of a bitch, Alexx moved between me and Hagen, blocking my path. Delko was staring at Hagen in shock.

"Did she fuck you Speedle, is that it? You want her that badly?" Hagen was attempting to taunt me.

"She left you because you were beating on her, and when you couldn't have her anymore you tried to rape her. She's not a possession Hagen." I heard myself saying calmly. Hagen darted forward suddenly grabbing Alexx's arm and flinging her away from me. She hit the wall with a loud thud. It was then I realized he's truly lost it. He came at me, his eyes bloodshot, his suit a mess, his hair untidy. He stunk of booze. I was glad Calleigh wasn't here to see this. He reached me swinging widely; I ducked backwards as he came at me. I wouldn't lower myself to his level here. He was a mad man; he's proved this by hurting Alexx. All my pent up rage was building, as he swung each punch at me. I wanted to hit him for Calleigh and now for Alex who was running down the corridor to get security.

"You son of a bitch." Hagen turned towards the owner of the voice, as a fist struck him straight on the nose. From the sound of the crunch that echoed through the corridor, Eric had just broken Hagen's nose. The noise sickened me for a second, causing me to freeze up. All around us alarms were going off. Hagen lunged at Delko, fists swinging at him. Hagen's massive frame against Eric's slender figure wasn't the best pairing, especially with Hagen laced with booze.

"Is she fucking you too Delko?" Hagen screamed, he was now on top of Eric, his hands wrapped around his throat throttling him. Rage ran through me as well as panic as Eric's head hit the floor again. I moved forward gripping Hagen's hair and wrapping my arm around his throat to incapacitate him, yanking him off Delko. Behind me a door opened.

"Eric are you alright?" I called over at Delko. He was lying on the ground, moving slowly, his hand on the back of his head. Hagen was still grabbing at my arm as I continued to restrain him. Security members were racing from each side of the corridor towards us.

"Speed, what the hell is going on here?" Horatio appeared from somewhere behind me, analysing the situation, taking in Delko sprawled on the floor. I threw Hagen away from me. He took another lunge at me and as I dodged out of the way, a set of security guards grabbed him, yanking him back.

"I'll tell you what's going on Horatio; Hagen stormed on in here like a bat out of hell, screaming all kinds of crap about Calleigh. That boy deserves a prison cell." Alexx was by Eric's side examining his head wound.

"I'm sorry honey, but you are gonna have to go to hospital. He's messed up the back of your head pretty well." Alexx told Eric.

"Now don't try to move too much sugar, you'll be ok."

"Calleigh, you fucking whore, how could you do this to me?" Hagen screamed up the corridor. The noise echoed, bouncing off the walls behind me. I turned slightly seeing Calleigh behind me staring down at Eric as he moved slowly with Alexx's help.

"Calleigh, you bitch. I swear to God, Calleigh…" Hagen was dragged through the double doors at the end of the corridor; they closed shutting off his voice. There was silence between us all for a few minutes. Shock coursed through me.

"Speed…" I looked down at Eric leaning against the wall. Blood had pooled on the floor, and was now streaked up the wall. He gave me a small smile.

"Thank you." He spoke hoarsely. I crouched down in front of him.

"Don't be getting all soppy on me Delko; you may just make me cry." I said, getting a deep laugh from Delko.

"Seriously Delko, thank you." I spoke calmly.

"No problem man, just looking out for you." I smiled and rose to my feet, turning to Calleigh. Horatio was down the hall with her. Calleigh's arms were wrapped around herself tightly, her head bowed low. I didn't want to interrupt, by the looks of it she was dealing.

"How about you Alexx?" I asked. "Are you alright?"

"Don't you worry about me sugar." She said sitting next to Delko. "Nothing more than bumps and bruises."

I crossed my arms on my chest, as we waited for the paramedics.

"I don't understand what made him burst in here, shooting his mouth off like that." I said out loud what I had been thinking. I felt a presence behind me, I turned slightly seeing Horatio over my shoulder.

"His captain suspended him today. I sent him the charges that we were going to be filing against Hagen. He decided immediate suspension was the best option." Horatio answered my question, hands on his hips. I looked behind him to see Calleigh in the distance. She was leaning against the wall, her face looking in the opposite direction. I squinted in her direction, looking at my hands. I felt useless; I was the only one that had come out of this unhurt.

"Horatio how is she?" I asked watching her curiously.

"She's gonna be ok. Speed, she'd pretty shaken up. I need to keep an eye on her." I nodded and stepped towards Calleigh. I reached out a hand to touch her. She jumped involuntary. I took a step back and crossed my arms over my chest defensively. She looked in pain. I looked at the floor then back at her.

"Are you ok?" I asked. Dumb question. Yet I knew not to molly coddle her.

"I will be." She told me looking down at the ground. She looked up at me.

"It's just I never expected him to come to work and look for me. I mean he's hurt you all, and your all still here. You all protected me." She told me her eyes were filled with unshed tears; she turned her head away towards the corridor.

"Calleigh. We're your family. You're all that matters to us here. You were here for me when I needed to talk, and we're all here for you now and forever. Don't worry, we're not gonna let anyone harm you." I told her wrapping my arm around her shoulders. She nodded and let me embrace her for a few minutes. Slowly she pulled away from me, with a slow smile that melted my heart.

"I've got work to do in the ballistics lab. We're backed up." She told me. I knew she was going for some peace and to settle her mind. That's what she did, she fired off rounds. I watched her as she walked away from me down the corridor. She was strong, and fiercely independent. She didn't need to be protected from things. She dealt with monsters everyday. It was the monster close to her that she couldn't deal with the one that she had trusted.


	8. Chapter 8: A Means To An End

Chapter Eight

The morning sun was shining through the window onto Calleigh's wavey hair, making it glow like an angel's. She lay on her side facing me. I smiled watching her as she slept, she was so peaceful. She was my angel. I slowly and quietly pulled myself from the sheets and moved to the kitchen putting on the kettle with thoughts of making breakfast in bed for my sleeping goddess. While I waited for the pan on the stove to heat, my thoughts slipped into the events of the last few days. Delko was home from the hospital now. Hagen's attack had caused him to need stitches in the back of his head, after spending a night in there for observation; he'd been allowed to go home under the caring and watchful guide of Maxine Valera. I chuckled to myself getting the bacon out of the fridge and dropping it carefully into the pan, I then turned the heat down to a slow sizzle and began to make a start on the scrambled eggs. Alexx had been right about her own analysis; she'd gotten off lightly with literally some bumps and bruises. I mixed the eggs in the pan as they began to cook. Horatio had made sure our statements were taken and then let us go on a leave of absence for a few days. So far our off time had been bliss. We'd caught a movie last night and a late dinner and came back to the apartment for a few hours in bed. The last week had been rough on us all. Calleigh had spent the night after the attack curled up in bed, I held her for a while until she fell asleep. I'd fallen into a deep sleep after. Taking two plates out of the cupboard, I loaded them up on a tray, then moved the drawer to get cutlery. There was a loud knocking on the door. As I moved towards it I heard Calleigh's voice calling me.

"Tim…" she drawled sleepily. I grabbed the door handle and pulled the lock free.

"Hold on a second Calleigh. I'm getting the door." I called out yanking the door open. A pair of bloodshot, vibrant eyes met mine, and as I recognized them, I moved to slam the door on his face. Hagen stuck his foot in the door, throwing it open, I was in the way, I hadn't had enough time to move out of its way. The door hit me straight in the forehead, snapping my head back, catching me off balance. Pain erupted the centre of my head. I heard the door close as I brought my head forward to see Hagen's fist coming towards my face. Unable to defend myself I turned my head letting his punch glance off my right cheek, knowing it wouldn't cause too much damage. The punch threw me off balance causing me to slide against the wall. Calleigh was suddenly in my head. I opened my mouth to warn her, pausing feeling ice pain pressed against my neck. I turned my head slightly, looking at Hagen's worn and ragged face. He had finally gone completely over the edge. From what Calleigh had said I was aware that Hagen back in the day used to hunt a little. The knife at my throat was an old hunting one; its nasty glare almost caused me to wince. It was pressed hard against my Adam's apple, I was debating whether I had space to breathe or not. I held my breath, hoping Calleigh didn't speak or come in here looking for me.

"Where is she Speed?" Hagen asked in a low rumble, relaxing the pressure on my throat a little so I could speak.

"I don't know." I told him, considering several possible ways I could get out of this without getting my throat slashed and alerting Calleigh at the same time. Hagen raised an eye brow and pushed the knife a little harder against my throat. I saw his eyes focus on something in the kitchen behind me.

"Breakfast for two?" he sneered, his eyebrows knitting, furious. Quickly my mouth responded automatically.

"My girlfriend is in the bedroom." I told him in a low tone. "She's a civilian."

Hagen stared at me for a few seconds, his grip on the knife unrelenting.

"Shall we go see?" he asked, gripping my shoulder in a bone crushing grip, he spun me around, keeping the knife harshly against my throat, I felt something warm trickle down onto my black t-shirt. I knew he'd nicked me. I struggled slightly against me, suddenly becoming less conscious of the knife that at my throat. Calleigh was in there, I could hear her moving around, the bed room door was closed over.

"Leave her out of this." I pleaded with Hagen. He shoved me forwards towards the door. He raised his foot to kick it open, in order to maintain his grip on me. Calleigh was in there. I had vague ideas what Hagen would do to Calleigh; I wasn't taking that risk. Before I realized it I was screaming her name out loud. The door smashed open hitting the wall behind it, at the same time I saw Calleigh diving for the bedside table where I knew she now kept her gun. The knife was yanked back into my throat, causing it to cause more bleeding. I wondered how long I had left until Hagen tore my throat out. Calleigh was standing there now in front of me, legs apart, gun pointed at the merge of mine and Hagen's bodies. Wearing only a black strap top and matching pyjama shorts, she was a mix of strength and vulnerably.

"Let go of him John. This is between you and me. Let Tim go." She spoke in her beautiful Southern accent. You never really appreciate things until you find yourself in a life ending situation.

"No Calleigh, you cost me my job, and my career. Nearly twenty years down the pan due to your lies. I loved you, you bitch and then I come here and find you've been fucking Speedle behind my back." He was ranting now, the knife digging deeper into my neck. I took a deep breath trying to give myself more space.

"That knife touches him once more John and I swear I will shoot you." Calleigh said calmly, she was unflinching under Hagen's tirade. Her strength was showing. I felt sweat trickling down my head as I pushed up against Hagen.

"You wouldn't shoot me Calleigh, besides we have unfinished business." I could almost see Hagen's crooked, dirty smile. I'd rather be dead then let Calleigh be touched by Hagen. Death was something I was readily accepting, after being shot twice and staring it in the face, it wasn't as scary as I had once thought. My only thought now was Calleigh. She didn't need to go through anymore pain.

"Don't test me John." She called out to him, moving closer. "Put the knife down, this isn't Speed's fault."

"He turned you against me Calleigh, he interrupted us, convinced you to tell these lies." Hagen was appealing to her; Calleigh's not an idiot, if he remotely thought she agreed with him, Hagen would slit my throat in an instant to be with her.

"You tried to rape me. You hurt my family. Let the hell go of Tim, John, or I swear to God I will put a bullet in your brain." She warned him.

"Is it him; is he all you care about?" Hagen began to shout, the grip on the knife was looser now. I felt him move out from behind me.

Calleigh never answered to what he said.

"You were all I cared about, you were my everything. I have a ring I was going to propose. You took everything from me." He was screaming now, bitterness pulsating through him by the sound of his voice. He was waving the knife closer and further to me. Fear ran through me as he nicked my skin again. My adrenaline was running out, but I was begging myself to stay calm.

"Let's see how you behave when everything's taken away from you." That statement said it all. I saw the Hagen's arm swing across my throat. I heard Calleigh screaming tangled words at Hagen. A loud noise roared in my ears, and I felt myself falling backwards with black shrouding me.

I came to a few minutes later into a world of chaos. The first thing I realized was a sticky substance coating me, staring at my shaking hands I figured out it was blood. I put my hand to my neck, dazed, considering the faint possibility of me being alive. I turned to my right seeing Hagen's body laying spread in front of me, a bullet hole in the centre of his forehead. There was a distant noise I recognized coming from somewhere else in the room. I turned my head unsure. Calleigh was still standing there, in the same position I'd seen her in. She was sniffing, staring at Hagen's body. I crawled to my knees dizzy, and tried to raise myself to my feet. I put my hand to my neck once I felt more warmth flooding down my chest. I guess Hagen had cut me pretty bad. I moved towards Calleigh slowly as not to startle her. It seemed as if she couldn't see me, her eyes were focused on Hagen's body, her gun pointed at the floor.

"Calleigh?" I spoke quietly, moving towards her with my hand outstretched. She didn't say anything; she didn't even look my way.

"Cal?" I touched her rigid arm gently. Her skin was cold, leaving me to wonder how long I'd been out. Her head snapped up in my direction and I knew she was seeing me for what seemed like the first time. Her oceanic eye focused on me, they glistened slightly.

"Tim?" she asked me slowly. "I shot him. He was going to kill you, I told him." Her eyes were on the floor full of tears searching. I couldn't begin to image what she was going through right now. The gun was still in her hand.

"Calleigh? Can you put the gun down please?" I asked her slowly. She moved it slowly to the bed, depositing in the sheets, it looked odd tangled in them. Calleigh lowered herself onto the bed sitting on it. Her eyes focusing on the carpet still. She was in shock. Everything was left here to me. I reached for the phone quickly, aware I was losing a lot of blood.

"Tim…I feel cold." She told me, looking up at me. The first thing I saw in her eyes was fear. I'd never seen that in here before. I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her to me. She buried her face in my stomach; almost immediately I felt and heard the long hard sobs wrack her as I dialled the number for the only person I knew who could help us out. As it rung I ran a hand through her hair, holding her sobbing face to me. I couldn't help but feel her sense of lose. She was showing me her anguish.

"Don't worry Calleigh, it'll be alright. I promise everything will be alright." I tried to reassure her. A sense of weakness struck me, yet I managed to stay on my feet. The phone was picked up; I didn't even wait for an answer. I just spoke.

"Horatio it's me."


End file.
